"Therefore, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit. Romans 8:1
This is one Scripture that I have committed to memory.
I struggle in this area big time and admit condemnation gets the better of me. But, I am slowly and I mean slowly letting God help me work towards healing in this area.
I can be my worst enemy at times, along with Satan who will do everything in his power to trip me up and make me feel condemned that I do not even want to try anymore.
Along with having deep shame, condemnation falls right along side of it. Being brought up with parents, especially my father, who could be very displeased with me and condemning me for things not only brought shame but the thought I would never be forgiven.
I can even remember now, and to this day, when I feel I have done something wrong, I have to make sure from the other person that they have forgiven me. With my mother, I remember hounding her, making sure she forgave me. I had to hear the words over and over again. I was more afraid approaching my father asking for forgiveness. As I learned the hard way many times with his reply that would even make me feel more condemnation and shameful. He was a very critical man. So, I just took it on that I was not forgiven and went on.
But, it has been so very hard to believe all these years that I have been forgiven after repenting! I take on such condemnation at times, that I wonder how God can even forgive me. I know what the Bible states is true, but it is the believing and accepting that God has 'totally' forgiven me and offers His love to me that hinders my progress.
Then I can be amazed other times, how clear some things are revealed to me, that only God's hand could of been in it and I have no problem accepting that.
I just do not know?
I get confused over the whole thing many times.
Why sometimes I feel I am in better tune and walking right along side with Him, even though I struggle with accepting His love and forgiveness??????
Does not make sense to me?
I guess in spite of my insecurities, and He being "Love," He still shows "this love" to me with no condemnation regardless if I can accept it or not. Because that is just who He is.
Gosh, I am right in the same confused boat as you. I can't believe that with all the things I have done/thought/said/did in my life that God's grace is given to me and I am still accepted and loved by him. It floors me that something like that can be possible. I almost don't believe it. I expect the same thing I do/tell myself. You are worthless, it is your fault, etc. But at the same time, I know that will never happen. I know all I have to do is reach out my hand, heart and soul and he will be there to embrace me.
ReplyDeleteSuch a weird dance we do... don't know if my comment even makes sense, but I completely understand.
Just Be Real,and Lily,I am a member of this club as well.By the Grace of God I am working on the change I need to make.I know that it can be a daily struggle that we live with.Here is a great saying that I learned in A.A."LET GO,LET GOD"
ReplyDeleteI was overwhelmed with tremendous "joy" as I read that Scripture. Knowing that His promises are true! Me? Not condemned anymore? When I do deserve His wrath and was once His enemy! The enemy is always active in whispering lies to us. But we knkow where we stand in Christ Jesus so glory to God! Hang in there JBR and stay strong inside the Armor! God bless and protect you.
ReplyDeleteJBR,
ReplyDeleteI have felt the way you have at times in my life wondering just how God could love me enough even though I constantly make the same mistakes over and over again. I guess that is why they call it unconditional love after all and He is perfect.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
I think we all sometimes have a hard time understanding and accepting God's unconditional love...but you said it best...it is because of who He is.....
ReplyDeleteI don't think half of what we go through makes sense to us as we venture to the other side of that mountain JBR. But, eventually, we get there. Somehow, someway. I couldn't imagine walking my journey without Christ Jesus by my side. It saddens me to think of those that do chose that path.
ReplyDeleteThanks for pouring your heart out today sweety and I pray that you have a joyous week-end. You so deserve it.
Someone once said that those of us in the program may not have had the happiest childhoods, but we've probably had the longest ones. Many of us need to pick up much of the confidence and self affirmation through our programs and other members that most pick up in childhood. The important thing is that we can still get it now, leave our past behind, and build a strong future, one day at a time. You are cared for! Have a good weekend!!!
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ReplyDeleteApril_optimist said...
ReplyDeleteI believe that love is the way. When we are able to stop and do something that makes us smile, that tells us we value ourselves, we can feel God's love, too--and God's forgiveness. God created us human and so must know we are not perfect and does not expect us to be. God simply loves.
I glad He is the way He is. What a beautiful and encouraging post.
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ReplyDeleteContinue to be you, that is all you need to do my friend.
ReplyDeleteI didn't intend on sounding authoritative ... so just know that Jesus' footsteps are right beside your own. If you're really still, you can feel Him there.
ReplyDeleteLove you, dear one.
I also struggle at times with the same perplexities and confusion over KNOWING what the truth is and yet not feeling those truths from God...His unconditional love, His forgiveness, His patience with His children and wanting to help them and heal them. I'm getting better (most of the time) at recognizing when those accusatory thoughts that satan brings and know they are not from God. But I must believe this in my heart every time they come. We are growing, learning, being healed and beginning to believe the promises from God. In the meantime, we are writing all this down to each other which I find to bring more strength and healing. I'm going to sign off as "Your Friend, Janie."
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