"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, March 04, 2010


I had one of those days yesterday. Everyone and I mean everyone bothered the &^%$ out of me!! I felt I was at one of my worst yesterday at work. A couple of times I had to pull myself over to the side and have a chit-chat with myself.

You ever get to a point where you just do not care (but really you do, because you really do not want to hurt anyone), and just show how frustrated you are? For no reason it seems?

Ahhhh, but there is a reason. There is always a reason.

I have always felt that way. I have always been the type of person who was so very active. Especially as a child. On the go, go, go. Play, play, play. I hate sitting still.

And when that was taken away from me as a child, when the playing stopped, I had to adapt to a new life style. Soon after my parents divorce and my mother remarrying quickly, I had to move away with her and had to compensate.

I have all this energy, along with emotional pain trapped inside of me. Feel at times I want to explode.

So, this "feeling" comes up in me really strong at times. It is always there.

Fortunately at my job, which I am happy at, I am able to move around. So I can walk it off. I have had some jobs that I had to sit all day, I could not handle those. I usually ended up quitting as I felt I was not challenged enough and I could not stand being idle.


  1. boredom can really undo me too... and i'm learning that to just stop. completely. and do something completely different usually helps with that 'exploding self' that wants to creep in every now and again.

  2. Moving the body a lot helps to release emotional energy, it can calm us down when we need it. That's what running does for me.


  3. stuck-in-the-middleMarch 04, 2010

    Hang in there JBR! I get this was to as you described.

  4. I always wondered where you get this amazing energy! Handling 2 blogs...your daily stuff, well...I kind of envy you!
    I wish you find more and more positive ways to deal with that energy.

  5. Seems good you do have job where you can let off some of that build up. Gods working in you.

  6. Came by to say hi and missed coming by.
    Much reading to catch up on. On being bored and idle, I get a headache when I am in this position. I just need to get out and move around. I cannot stay still. If I had a desk job, I would probably die at my desk. lol Bless you dear.

  7. "Walking it off" always helps me when I am out of sorts.
    Blessings, andrea

  8. When something--anything--bothers me, I pick up my violin, and within SECONDS I am in that "other world" where I feel safe, loved, happy, and free to express myself--totally!

    Everyone must have some gift like that to fall back on--maybe like PRAYER "when all else fails"--grin!

  9. Well you have some amazing comments, I too have had this feeling quite a bit in life, I have found that moving my body, whether in quiet stretched, yoga, dance or walking always helps me, then to journal, journal , journal, that always helps me...and of course prayer.

    Great honest post, thank you for sharing it as it helps me to realize my own humanity.


  10. I've learned one of the best ways for me to deal with emotional energy is to go walking. When I was young, I used to walk to the mailbox and about all the time. My family considered it a strange habit. Now that I walk to and from work, I've reconnected with that habit. I'm glad you can walk about during the day, I'm lucky with that too. Take care! *hugs* <3

  11. your day yesterday and my day yesterday seems a lot alike. It was a HORRIBLE day and I had a lot of energy.. and no where to use it while at work because my job is pretty sedentary. I really thought that I was gonna loose it and got tired of people talking to me... it was TERRIBLE... but I got through it... went home relaxed and tried to refocus..... today is slightly better but I'm praying that God will speak through me and use me for His glory because inside I'm not feeling all that well:)

  12. JBR,

    You are completely normal with those feelings. Not quite sure just where they come from but you are not alone. I have those days every so often but realize that they will be gone as quickly as they arrived.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  13. I would not be able to survive if I had to sit still!! And I simly can't sit down and just watch television either. I have to have a book in my hand or being piddling around with a craft or something! I hope today has been a better day for you my friend.


  14. wow JBR...you are a kindred spirit. I am so much like you described here...need to be active...challenged....physical. Glad you work at a place that you get some of that. Sarah

  15. I was always the busy type too. I just couldn't understand those that just wanted to sit for 8 hours.

  16. When I feel frustrated, I talked to myself too, and often walked away from the scene!

  17. I understand. I am the same way. It's good that you have a job where you can walk around. I hope that you are able to get your energy out.