BREAKING PROTOCOL

Wow, I see some changes in me this time around with my brother's visit.

First, really this concerns my mother, but I broke protocol with my mother this morning. I did not call my mother at our usual scheduled morning time. I just did not want to. She waited about 45 minutes later and called and when I picked up the receiver I gave the phone to my brother who then quickly passed it off to my sister-in-law (S-I-L) who graciously took my mothers call. She grilled my S-I-L as to why I did not call her and my S-I-L then said to my mother, "I guess she wanted you to sleep longer" she muttered. Whatever.

The visit at my mum's was as expected. I think I had to leave the room close to 15 times in a five hour span when I felt I was being verbally attacked. I had really a bad headache and left for a while to lay down which brings me to my final interesting and emotionally painful change from today.

While my brother was driving me and my S-I-L back to my place from my mothers, I fell asleep in the back seat as my head was throbbing. I presently live about 1/2 mile from the house where I grew up and some of the abuse took place. Out of the blue my brother wakes me up and we are in front of our old house. I forgot, this is one of his exciting "remembrance" adventures he likes when he comes for a visit. So he is telling me to wake up and look at our old house and see what the present owners have done to it. All I saw was my old house in its original condition back in the 1960's and me in it. I never wanted so much to get out of there. Never had such a startle and sick feeling like this before.

It seems I am getting so in tuned now to my feelings these days. Even though this was an unexpected and unpleasant moment, it is showing me that I am connecting, painfully.

My brother is also noticing I am more stern with him now, and not the easy go let's insult kiddingly (if you can) JBR anymore. He looks at me with astonishment at times.

Oh well.... there is more of me to change as God continues to work in me.

Amen and Hallelujah!

Off to dinner with the family. Hopefully the food will at least help my headache.....

To think we all are going to do this again tomorrow going to my mums. For this past year I have done nothing but try and stay away from seeing my mum as much as possible, and in this one weekend I am inundated! Yikes!

How many more days left?????...........

UPDATE

Feeling better everyone, thanks for your comments and prayers. The Glory of God is released in my soul and is carrying me through these days ahead. Blessings!

.................................................................................................................................................... I Got The Joy!