CHANGE IS NOT EASY

Change is certainly not easy. Even in your struggles and your pain. You can be set in your ways. You know no other way. The emotional pain has been with you so long, it has become a part of you. Scary thought but true.

When I first seriously began my journey to healing, even though my heart's desire was to change, I knew I was in for a battle. Many times I wanted to quit. Oh did I ever!! I did not want to change because I did not want to face my past. I did not want to feel. I did not know what it was like to feel. I did not like what was drudged up. I started feeling for the first time after so many years of stuffing my emotions of pain down deep deep deep inside of me. I was just a human shell walking among the living. I became very comfortable in my misery.

Change means that I would have to feel again. Become alive! What? Are you serious? Actually feel something. Feel purpose? Something many of us have never experienced. No wonder we are afraid!

But, through my journey I have learned I do not have to stay where I am at. That I have the opportunity to be set free. To have a voice. To be real.

There is hope!

Jesus has come to redeem us. To set us free from bondage. We do not have to live the way we once were. Fear, shame, guilt, condemnation etc. can depart. We can start today by facing our fears. Yes scary scary scary! My journey still at times is scary for me. The uncertainty. I have not arrived to the other side just yet. I still experience many down and depressing days where I want to quit still!

But the more I grow closer to God, the more I am reassured that His intentions are only good. I pray this for you as well:

"For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handled down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect." 1 Peter 1:19

Change is not easy. It is a fierce battle. It can be difficult and discouraging.

Change often requires us to challenge the perspectives and rules which have sustained our family system for generations. The ‘empty way of life’ we are attempting to change was handed down from our parents and their parents before them and their parents before them. In a family committed to the ‘don’t talk’ rule, for example, saying even a simple sentence may require overcoming distracting behaviors or other avoidance behaviors which have been refined over hundreds of years!. Talking honestly to a parent or sibling may be breaking family rules that have lasted for generations.

The Good News is that we have been redeemed from the empty way of life handed down by our forefathers. Jesus redeemed us so that we can be free from this kind of bondage. We can learn to talk honestly . We can learn to experience our emotions. We can learn to trust genuinely. We can engage in life. We can love and be loved.

We live in a battle between the empty way of life passed down to us and the new life that has been provided for us. Living in solidarity with our new life in Christ is a daily struggle, but as we practice this way of life we break the vicious cycle of family dysfunction.

Lord, it isn’t just me that I am trying to change.
I am up against generations of dysfunction.
An empty way of life has dominated my family for a long time.
It has been passed down to me.
No wonder it seems so hard to change.
I need your help, Lord.
Help me to find hope in your understanding of my struggle.
Help me to find hope in your gift of redemption.
Amen.

Copyright 2010 Dale and Juanita Ryan