"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Wednesday, July 07, 2010


I know many of us could argue, "How Could God Have Meant My Abuse for Good?" There is just no way! I am Angry and even Hate God!! Powerful words. But, if you are truthful with yourself, then you know you have felt this at one time or another.

God's initial intention was for you NOT to be abused, hurt, etc. We live in such a broken and fallen world. A very dark place at times.

Regardless, believing that God meant our lives for good is probably one of the hardest things to come to grips with. As we are on our recovery to freedom, the understanding that God has a purpose for us which is good can seem impossible. The many "why" and "where" questions!

Where was God when I was severely beaten day in and day out for no reason just because my dad was having a bad day? Where was God when I continued to be sexually molested, huh? Where was God when my parents were not there for me emotionally? Why God Why? And the biggest why is Why should I trust You God Now?

Joyce Meyer, who writes on this subject below, has personally gone through her own hell and back. Sexually abused by her own father endless times while growing up, she had those same questions and emotions of anger towards God.

Joyce is truly an inspiration to the world of hurting people. She has helped me a lot by her living the truth daily. She is a walking and living miracle of how God has healed her emotionally and set her free. She is a woman of Freedom! Something I want to attain!

You may not want to turn your trust over to God. Understandable. I still struggle in trusting God and receiving His love. You still have the many hurts and wounds that have not been healed from your past. But in all seriousness, when it comes down to it, He is the only one that can heal your pain permanently.

Emotional healing takes time. Just like with a physical wound. It takes time to heal then form a scab. Many of my emotional wounds remained infected and festered over the years. Never gaining the scab to heal properly. That is until I came to the realization since on my journey that I needed the proper antibiotic and now my emotional wounds can and are beginning to heal slowly.

I believe in hope. I believe in a God that can change me.

"Then his brothers went and fell down before him, saying, See, we are your servants (your slaves)! And Joseph said to them, Fear not; for am I in the place of God? [Vengeance is His, not mine.] As for you, you thought evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring about that many people should be kept alive, as they are this day." —Genesis 50:18-20

Whatever may have happened to us in the past, it does not have to dictate our future. Regardless of what people may have tried to do to us, God can take it and turn it for good. We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose (Romans 8:28). Sometimes we forget how big our God is.

Through everything that happened to him, Joseph kept his eyes on God. He didn't sit around and gripe and complain and hold a "pity party." Despite what others—even his own brothers—did to him, he didn't allow himself to be filled with bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness. He knew it didn't matter who was against him, because God was for him and would eventually work out everything for the best for all concerned. Joseph knew that whatever happened, God was on his side. He let God build his life, his reputation, and his career.

That is what you and I need to do. We need to put no confidence in the arm of the flesh, but rather trust ourselves entirely to the arm of the Lord.


  1. Yes, the wonderful arm of the Lord.

  2. amen!!
    blessings, hugs, and prayers,

  3. AnonymousJuly 07, 2010

    JBR an enlightening post. I can relate to the violence of being hit by my father at times. I don't think he meant to. I realize he had problems and didn't know what to do. I know I shouldn't be giving excuses either. God Bless.

  4. This is such a great post today. I trust God, but not man. When I was a child I did not question why the abuse? It was later when I grew up that I ask that question.

    Without my abuse, I would not be the person I am today. I would not understand or have compassion for those hurting or in need. Now I can see my life as a tool that God used. He let me survive to tell others not to be afraid and to have hope.

    Thank you JBR for shairing this today.
    Love and peace be with you.

  5. Amen! Permanent healing through Him!

  6. He is our God. He is Love. He is Healing.

  7. Hope is that what makes to go on and on. As long as we have hope we have all the possibilities open ... I'm happy that you are on your healing path I can feel the confidence:-) "Life is full of suffering. But it is also full of beautiful things. It's not enough to just suffer." Thich Nhat Hahn

  8. "That is what you and I need to do. We need to put no confidence in the arm of the flesh, but rather trust ourselves entirely to the arm of the Lord." ~ powerful!

    His ways and thoughts are truly higher than ours. God bless.

  9. AnonymousJuly 07, 2010

    This is an awesome post! Thanks for sharing this. I need to copy this.


  10. Hard to trust after what you've endured, agreed. After giving much thought to this particular subject, I must say that there will always be unfairness and hurtful things in my life. BUT, I am amazed at my own self when I am dejected and ridiculed by someone that I love very much, that my thoughts "automatically" turn to God, and instantly I KNOW that He is allowing me to go through this for a reason. I contemplate there being a "purgatory" on earth where one's sins are cleansed. I often feel as though the way in which I handle myself in these hurtful situations - by turning to Him and knowing He has a good purpose - is a sort of purging of my sins, going through some of my own hurtful things and enduring them with Godliness "might" make me more worthy of His presence when I leave this world. I want nothing in this life but to live it so as to be accepted into His Kingdom for all eternity.

    Bottom line, I DO believe God has a purpose in everything. I DO NOT believe he intends for anyone to be brutally hurt as you have been, but if you are giving your heart to Him, He WILL take the negative and turn it into a positive.

    I think it very, very difficult to find that deep meaning in the abuse one suffers, but I know in my heart that with God living inside me, I can endure anything for His Name Sake.

    Abbey ♥

  11. HI JBR-

    I truly understand ths journey to self love, regardless of what happened to us. I fought against my own truth for so long and at such a cost. Now, the freedom is such a gift. I celebrate and love all of me - including the abuses. I know GHod was with me because he showed me that if I took my shoes off and walked on the rough surface it would take my mind off where he hurt me as I focused on my feet. To this day I am healed and soothed through my feet. : -) ALso, there is purpose in my surviving andliving my truth - and that purpose is to be broken and poured out so that perhaps others can have hope. Amen.

    love and healing
    peace and hope.....

  12. i found your blog while visiting denise at shortybears place...what a journey you have had sweet girl...i am inspired and encouraged by your post today...i will be following...
    real is best...

  13. Great topic. I know all about a fallen world and free choice, etc. What I tell others is that about all that stuff, but for me I have always had a sense of God in my life. I know that He allows us to make choices and also know that He was there grieving and experiencing my pain as well. I know this, but bottom like I will never understand really understand the mind of God.

  14. JBR, thanks for your continous support and the way you work and walk towards yourself! You are a great inspiration and I hope you as proud of yoruself as Iam of you. Hugs, Paula

  15. AnonymousJuly 07, 2010

    I'm cyruing as I read what you wrote. Part of my past is growing up in a abusive family. thank you for telling us all there is hope. I'm still in recovery.

  16. This was a big hurdle for me to cross in my recovery. I remember sitting down with A and bawling, pleading with her to help me understand why God allowed me to be abused. To help me understand that if he really loved me, why would he let me be hurt in that way? It was a very hard thing for me to approach and I wasn't really sure I wanted to know the answer. I didn't want to think that anything good could come out of me being abused. Screw that. I wanted answers. Surely I must have done something wrong! Slowly but surely, piece by piece, A has helped me to understand that God was there with me, even though I felt He wasn't. He felt my pain, too.

  17. Thank you for this message, JBR. It's one I struggle with, with my husband. He's always wanting to know why God did this or that. Why did he give our innocent grandchild a birth defect? Why did he give us domesticated animals and age them seven times faster than us?

    I never know what to say. I don't know why. I know it's all part of a larger plan, but that doesn't sound comforting to someone who doesn't believe that.

    I wanted to thank you, too, for your very kind condolences on my blog yesterday. It meant a lot to me. ((((JBR))))

  18. JBR,

    I think Joyce shows us that the scripture that states what the devil means for evil, God uses it for good, this is just what He was talking about.

    He never meant for bad things to happen to any of us, but we live in a world filled with sin and choices, not all of them good. However when something bad does happen, God can always turn it around and use it for our good and to glorify Him.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  19. I would have never have made it if not for God's love. I still struggle with how the abuse could be meant for good. Sometime I feel that God could of prevented some of the terrible things that have happened in my life, but He did not. Still I choose to believe He loves me. Most of my life has been one horrible thing after another. One day all the pain will be gone and I'll be in His arms.

  20. Thank you dear JBR. Hope I think I'm realizing how and why some people melt in God's love.
    Thanks for sharing (((JBR)))

  21. This is a very good word!

  22. AnonymousJuly 07, 2010

    This post speaks to me very loudly. I am in a place in which I don't believe that a god exists because if there were one he/she wouldn't have put me through all of the hardships I have been through. But it's heartwarming to hear that you believe in hope.

    Wishing you well,

  23. AnonymousJuly 07, 2010


  24. I love how you put God into everything! So powerful and love that it can reach so many. Your helping people reach him and just that alone is AMAZING!

  25. Hope is so important. I believe in it too. God did NOT mean for us to be abused. But it happened to us so God cam make good come OUT of it - like what happens in a blog like this with the support we get from each other and give to each other. Hugs.

  26. Wonderful truth here. I love Joyce Meyer too. I have learned a lot from her over the years.

    I know I have done a lot of "Why God?" type of questions in my own life.

    Bless you!

  27. stuck-in-the-middleJuly 08, 2010

    JBR this posts says volumes to me. I can't believe you've written something on the very question that is on many hearts.

  28. you have no idea how many people i know in this exact place...tremendous post...going o send this out to a few that i think will really be touched by your words today...