Not being able to "feel" the joy rips me up inside. Sometimes to the point of anger. I get on my case about it. Blaming myself that I must be doing something wrong that I cannot feel joy. I missed the mark some how. Then I catch myself. Rebuking what I just said.
My belief system from my past, the abuse, the neglect, the control, the disappointments, the critical spirit, the shelterness, the heartache of a broken family, all did not just happen over night. Took many years to condition my way of stinkin' thinkin.' I lost my joy, my happiness so very long ago. But, now I want something so very bad because.....
I know without a doubt I would feel so much better spiritually, emotionally and physically. At least the sadness and oppression would be lifted.
But, love is part of the other equation to joy and I have a difficult time accepting God's love.
I found this neat song and says exactly what I want!!
I Want The Joy
by Rita Springer
I WANT THE JOY OF THE LORD TO COME DOWN,
I WANT THE JOY OF THE LORD TO FALL NOW;
I WANT THE JOY OF THE LORD IN MY LIFE!
I WANT THE JOY OF THE LORD TO LIFT ME,
I WANT THE JOY OF THE LORD TO CHANGE ME;
WANT THE JOY OF THE LORD IN MY LIFE!
IT'S TIME I STARTED DANCING OVER ALL THESE GRAVES,
IT'S TIME I GAVE YOU OH MY GOD THE HIGHEST PRAISE;
IT'S TIME TO LIFT MY VOICE,
OH AND BEG FOR THIS BLESSING TO FALL
Yes, I believe little JBR it is time to start dancing over all these graves! And Lord "I Beg For This Blessing To Fall Down Upon Me!"
JBR I thought I was the only one that ever felt this way. He is such a good God,but I sometimes feel I'll never feel joy again.
ReplyDeleteI want this for you, and for everyone.
ReplyDeleteYou'll get where you want to be. You are very dedicated to the cause.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
JBR,
ReplyDeleteWhen God pours out His overflowing joy into our lives the feeling is amazing and unforgettable. It's what keeps us craving more and more.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
What a great song!
ReplyDeleteDance away, JBR...the blessing will fall....
hav felt tat way myself...know you are loved by a great big God...like that song!
ReplyDeleteAnd He is truly the only Source of all joys! May you be filled by this special gift! Take care JBR!
ReplyDeletebelieve me, you WILL start dancing...
ReplyDeleteJoy is different to happiness. Joy is better. Joy is everlasting because it comes from our Lord. It's not dependant on our circumstances, our past, or our perceived flaws.
ReplyDeleteMany hugs.
I'm reading these blogs from the most recent to older posts. I repeat what was said in one of the previous blogs, "I want Joy to be my middle name." I want the joy of the Lord for the both of us....time to dance over all "those graves."
ReplyDelete