"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Thursday, July 01, 2010


Waiting for something new and exciting can be torture sometimes. Most times there is a process to go through. Waiting for that cruise to take on the high seas so we have to save some money for a year. That new shiny car we desire. Again some of us having to wait for our funds to grow in order to afford the luxury.

But, we who have been abused in our past there is no luxury. Our journey consist of having to go through the pain to break through to the other side. Does not matter how long you have been on your journey to freedom, you will inevitably still hit some bumpy roads along the way thinking, "I thought I was over that and dealt with what was going on." Only to discover, you were not.

On the heels of my previous post, this devotional states that God promises us a new heart. Hallelujah!

I need to hear and believe this with all my heart. No pun intended.

I have hit one of several bumpy roads. I am anxious in my journey more so now than ever.

These past few days I have been really struggling with depression more than normal and the mundaneness of life. The heaviness has really been a battle for me this week.

I think I want something so bad, that it is bringing me down.

I want a flesh heart that feels joy. I want all that is offered in the highlighted section below. My heart has been wounded so much. I am becoming weary in waiting for my transplant Daddy. I have had a stone heart for so long now. It is wearing me down. Hear my cry. Take away any fears! Help me to continue to endure. Help me to wait and see what You still need to show me. I want to be as free as this picture depicts. Lord I want to LIVE!

How about you?

Do you also desire the wonderful transplanted heart that is available to you as well from God, if you do not have already? I hope so!

Not more than ten minutes after completing this post, the Holy Spirit hit my body big time! I cannot tell you how I welcomed His visit!!! All week I felt I was hitting a brick wall. I could NOT feel Him. I have been desperate as I have been feeling so very low. This week has really really been bad for me emotionally.

Now, I was debating if I should even put up this post. But chose to, as a testament to what we all can experience and then be comforted during our pain. Thank You for this refreshing Lord, I so needed this day!!

I do not know how long His anointing will last on me but, Lord, I ask that Your indwelling and the hope that I feel at the moment continues through out the day at least.

I pray for others to feel what I am feeling right now.

Lord be with me when these depressing times creep up on me again. Reign down Your anointing touch of fire during those times! Please let me remain in Your glorious presence as long as possible!!!

I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19

God promises us a heart transplant. God promises to change us. Our stone hearts will be removed and in their place will be put a heart of flesh.

A heart of stone is a dead heart. It is closed to honest, intimate relationships. A heart of stone is unmerciful with itself and with others. But we do become attached to our hearts of stone. And we find ourselves fearing God's promised transplant. Our stone hearts have one thing in their favor - they allow us to feel strong and to appear strong to others. A stone heart is a protected heart. It seems invulnerable. You cannot wound a heart of stone.

God's offer of a heart transplant is a promise of life. A heart of flesh is alive. Only a flesh heart can feel joy. Only a flesh heart can celebrate. Only a heart of flesh can give and receive love. But, the vulnerability of a heart of flesh scares us. A flesh heart does not seem as well protected as a heart of stone. It can feel joy, but it can also feel pain. You can wound a heart of flesh.

God promises to change us. God will remove our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh.

I like the safety of my stone heart, Lord.
But it is hard, cold, dead.
It is a heartless heart, bloodless, lifeless.
Remove it from me.
I want a heart of flesh, Lord.
I want life.
But I am afraid.
Give me the courage to say 'yes'
to your promise of life today.
Remove my heart of stone and
give me a heart of flesh.

Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan

............................................................................ I Got The Joy!


  1. Praise God for the quick answer to prayer! I'm glad you posted this. I think we can all relate.

    I know I personally fought panic attacks for 20 years. It was a BATTLE to get completely free.

    I'm glad you felt refreshed.

    Bless you!

  2. AnonymousJuly 01, 2010

    JBR glad you posted. Sharing what God has been doing in you is all part of your travels. Helps many of us with encouragement. Take away the fakeness of life. Shows you're real. God Bless.

  3. AnonymousJuly 01, 2010

    I'm sorry you've been feeling more depressed and bored with life recently. I know how hard it is. But (even though I stray from this point of view often) I know that things get better eventually. Keep hanging on, JBR. I think your "new heart" will be worth the wait.

    Wishing you well,

  4. this post is so positive...so hopeful....waiting is so hard but with the waiting eventually comes the promise...believing for the fullfilment of that promise for you....

  5. I love how honest you are about the struggle along the journey, JBR. But, I also appreciate how much hope you relate in your posts. Thank you for that. Thinking of you and leaving behind some (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

  6. The Holy Spirit has been resting upon you a lot lately :) He probably can't resist your heartfelt prayers!
    I read your posts backwards today. I'm sorry that you have been feeling depressed though as you say it's probably a new step (door) on your journey. I'm glad you have the comfort of knowing that the God who loves you so much is with you every step of the way.
    Thank you for your insightful posts, I think they help a lot of people. You are in my prayers my friend. May God continue to bless you.

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