"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, August 09, 2010


Self-Disclosure remains scary for me at times.

Sure I am okay sharing with my t. She is safe. But IRL I am still finding out that I am cautious and protective. The possibility of being rejected still frightens me. Rejection runs deep into my heart of pain.

The devil loves to plays mind-games with me and with all of us if we let him. Even though I am stronger in not believing his lies, he does still get to me or tries a different line of attack to make me believe people do not like me. He was on the prowl big time over this past weekend. The "little" bugger!!


Letting God help me believe in myself and not fear who I am. Being honest. Letting go of others opinions. Being true about myself can only lead to a healthy relationship of any kind.

Despite my fears, each day I continue to become stronger with His help. Below are some safe ways to ease into self-disclosing:

Learning to gently reveal who we are is how we open ourselves up to love and intimacy in our relationships.

Many of us have hidden under a protective shell, a casing that prevents others from seeing or hurting us. We do not want to be that vulnerable. We do not want to expose our thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, and sometimes our strengths, to others.

We do not want others to see who we really are.

We may be afraid they might judge us, go away, or not like us. We may be uncertain that who we are is okay or exactly how we should reveal ourselves to others.

Being vulnerable can be frightening, especially if we have lived with people who abused, mistreated, manipulated, or did not appreciate us.

Little by little, we learn to take the risk of revealing ourselves. We disclose the real person within to others. We pick safe people, and we begin to disclose bits and pieces about ourselves.

Sometimes, out of fear, we may withhold, thinking that will help the relationship or will help others like us more. That is an illusion. Withholding who we are does not help the other person, the relationship, or us. Withholding is behavior that backfires. For true intimacy and closeness to exist, for us to love ourselves and be content in a relationship, we need to disclose who we are.

That does not mean we tell all to everyone at once. That can be a self-defeating behavior too. We can learn to trust ourselves, about who to tell, when to tell, where to tell, and how much to tell.

To trust that people will love and like us if we are exactly who we are is frightening. But it is the only way we can achieve what we want in relationships. To let go of our need to control others - their opinions, their feelings about us, or the course of the relationship - is the key.

Gently, like a flower, we can learn to open up. Like a flower, we will do that when the sun shines and there is warmth.

Today, I will begin to take the risk of disclosing who I am to someone with whom I feel safe. I will let go of some of my protective devices and risk being vulnerable - even though I may have been taught differently, even though I may have taught myself differently. I will disclose who I am in a way that reflects self-responsibility, self-love, directness, and honesty. God, help me let go of my fears about disclosing who I am to people. Help me accept who I am, and help me let go of my need to be who people want me to be.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation


  1. Beautifully said.
    Love this gentle but powerful reminder.
    Love our gentle but powerful Shepherd!
    And love you:)

  2. Yes IRL it is very hard to be open. Glad you are working on it :) I will work on it also.

  3. Amen, gently like a flower.

  4. I like gentle. Some people reveal too much too soon. Mystery is a good thing sometimes. It’s not withholding to me. it adds to the person. I hate it when people are pushy, big mouthed and loud. Gently opening up to a person is interesting. Your doing great my friend. Don’t worry, those who are worth you will stick around.

  5. It's incredibly difficult to self-disclose. But I think blogging kind of serves as an outlet, you know? Still, though, I understand that it can be really hard not to feel comfortable with someone "in real life." Stay strong.

    Wishing you well,

  6. JBR,

    I love watching you heal every single time through God's grace and His perfect timing. Only He knows how you will use this to serve Him in the future but I know you are helping many even now.

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  7. This is something my t has been encouraging me to do. But as you say it is scary. It's amazing how many illusions we hold on to. This post is a great reminder on how it can be done with wisdom.

  8. smiles. no one wants to get hurt and after so much we can curl up just to keep the shots from landing in vulnerable places...good job taking the steps to open up...

  9. JBR, I just left a comment on your post about 'surrender' and it has vanished in a front of my eyes ... my comment and your post ... strange ... so today just wishing you a happy Tuesday and I'll come back to visit later to see if your post is back! blessings!!

  10. So many deal with rejection. I have had my own layers of rejection to work through over the years.

    I have no doubt that God is going to continue to bring healing in your sweet life. Layer by layer. He is so good.

    Love & hugs,

  11. JBR,it is hard to know how much to tell of one's story. I am encouraged by your post today. I love seeing God working in your life.

    Love and many blessings to you.

  12. thank you for your visit and comment. Yes, I agree, blogging can help to open up. We are exposing ourselves...look at what you are doing...Give yourself some credit for your accomplishments.