Went to see my mum this morning before work. Planned it this way, so I would not have to stay long.
Right away she feared something was wrong with me because I came over before work. She thought I was in some kind of trouble. She kept on repeating if everything was okay with me. I assured her that it was. But, she then again she brought it up later that something must be wrong. So within the hour I saw her we got into it twice. The other regarding my church.
My church is now going to one service starting next week. Before I went to the later service and she went to the earlier service. Now that both services are merging she sees fit to demand that I sit with her. Not taking into consideration that I have "friends" now.
Well, we went back and forth on that issue. Voices raised on both ends. Finally, she gave up trying to convince me to sit with her. Her next strategy was to try and get me to come by every Sunday to her pew to acknowledge her presence at church. Again, we went back and forth on this issue. Me saying over and over and over again, "If I can." Not giving in that I will make it an appoint.
For my new readers: My mum and I have been co-dependent on each other probably since my birth. She is a very controlling, critical and judgemental woman. Since t. I have been slowly breaking my end of the enmeshment with her. That is why the conflict now.
So, a tough battle this morning. But a tough battle that I believe I won and set my boundaries to. Was hard and exhausting......
You won!
ReplyDeleteWay to go girl!
ReplyDeleteHold Strong....
ReplyDeleteCongrats. I had to learn that boundaries are quite an exhausting business as most people will keep trying to violate them. I feel you have done wodnerfully, standing your ground. Biggest warmest hug in the world.
ReplyDeleteWell done, you.
ReplyDeleteYour mom is gonna hug your neck with a heart full of gratitude for the steps you're taking towards health and wholeness....SOME day!
Until then, stay the course.
His grace is so so SO sufficient!
-Jennifer
JBR,
ReplyDeleteGood for you....
Blessings,
Tammy
Wow, what a tough situation. I guess all you can do is make sure your actions are always love-based (WWJD) and you'll be alright...
ReplyDeleteGood for you sweetie! Such battles are sure draining. Take care! *hugs* <3
ReplyDeleteWay to go with setting your boundaries and sticking with it. I've been working with this with my mom also. It is so hard!
ReplyDeletewhen I go to service its just Christ and myself anyway, so I probablly would forget too go by her pew anyway. lol
ReplyDeleteYou definitely won sis, love you.
ReplyDeleteWay to go! That must have been really tough for you to do. Give yourself a pat on the back!
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
PS- I'm glad you've found friends at church. I'm sure that enriches the experience.
I know how hard it can be to set those boundaries. Before Al-Anon, I had none. The change in me was hard for the people in my life. But eventually, they got used to the new me and things got easier.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your journey. And thanks for checking in on me during my hiatus. You've been a faithful friend.
Love and hugs to you, JBR
Good for you for sticking to your guns! I had the same problem with my mother. I consistently refused to sit with her in church and now she doesn't bother me at all about it. It wasn't easy though.
ReplyDeleteYes, your mom has to learn to cut her apron strings tied to you. You did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteWhats most important is what HE thinks of you...and you ARE the APPLE of HIS eye! Keep your eye on the prize in HIM. God Bless and good job!
ReplyDeleteWooHoo JBR! Way to Go!!!
ReplyDelete