KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

This statement rings loud in my heart many-a-time!

A lot of us can learn from the below devotional. I know I can.

Some times it is better not to say anything then to stick your foot in your mouth.

I can be one to quickly criticize. But, you would have to really irk me. Nevertheless, I would criticize more to another person about you then to you directly.

This is a big struggle area for me and I am trying to be more conscientious of the fact. My father criticized. Finding fault with others, somehow eases my pain, takes the focus off of me and makes me feel better about myself.

In recovery, I am learning to recognize a lot of my survival techniques of protection that I used in the past when I was growing up. Recognizing now, some of them can be adjusted for the better.

Sometimes I will even pull myself aside before I open my mouth and say, "Now JBR do you really want to say this? Who is benefiting? Huh?" Does not always work though.

Then at the same time I can be ever so encouraging. And really mean it too. Then I wonder "where did that come from?"

I am finding that it holds true that if I let some time go by (a few minutes) in a possible criticizing situation, my desire to bash someone verbally subsides. Not an easy task though. Because my flesh wants to get in the way.

I know I was put to the test these past few days at work. Some times I was successful, other times it was like I had diarrhea of the mouth.

"So much to say. And so much not to say! Some things are better left unsaid. But so many unsaid things can become a burden." — Virginia Mae Axline

The occasions are many when we'd like to share a feeling, an observation, perhaps even a criticism with someone. The risk is great, however. She might be hurt, or he might walk away, leaving us alone.

Many times, we need not share our words directly. Weighing and measuring the probable outcome and asking for some inner guidance will help us decide when to speak up and when to leave things unsaid. But if our thoughts are seriously interfering with our relationships, we can't ignore them for long.

Clearing the air is necessary sometimes, and it freshens all relationships. When to take the risk creates consternation. But within our quiet spaces, we always know when we must speak up. And the direction will come. The right moment will present itself. And within those quiet spaces the right words can be found.

If I am uncomfortable with certain people, and the feelings don't leave, I will consider what might need to be said. I will open myself to the way and ask to be shown the steps to take. Then, I will be patient.

Hazelden Foundation