My earthly father many times made me feel like I was a burden. Even as an adult I can remember the words he would say to me that made my little girl cry inside and want to curl up and die. When my dad was alive and I moved back to Florida I stayed for a year with my brother and sister-in-law before finding my own place. Had a job, helped pay bills and still my dad constantly reminded me in no uncertain terms that I was a burden and that they did not want me living with them. Took a lot of convincing from my brother to tell me this was not true. But, my dad's words crushed me. He was such a critical and judgmental man. And to this day, my mum continues to call me stupid. Figuring in her own mind when I do not adhere to what she wants then I am stupid and cannot have my own thoughts, opinions myself. But, I am learning slowly that my Heavenly Father does not see me as a burden.
"...words are more powerful than perhaps anyone suspects, and once deeply engraved in a child's mind, they are not easily eradicated."—May Sarton
How burdened we became, as little girls, with the labels applied by parents, teachers, even school chums. We believe about ourselves what others teach us to believe. The messages aren't always overt. But even the very subtle ones are etched in our minds, and they remind us of our "shortcomings" long into adulthood.
Try as we might to forget the criticisms, the names, they linger in our memories and influence our self-perceptions as adults. The intervening years have done little to erase whatever emotional scars we acquired as children.
Our partnership with God will help us understand that we are spiritual beings with a wonderful purpose in this life. And we are as lovely, as capable, and as successful as we perceive ourselves to be. Our own thoughts and words, our own labels can become as powerful as those of our youth. It takes practice to believe in ourselves. But we can break the past's hold on us.
God's power will help me know the real me. I am all that I ever needed to be; I am special, and I will come to believe that.
Hazelden Foundation
Lord, continue to remind me of the tools that I can apply to successfully believe in myself!
JBR: You are blessing not a burden and wish you had parents that reminded you of that!!!
ReplyDeleteoh i carry a few of these stings...word build up or tear down and have a shelf life beyond years...
ReplyDeleteAmen.
ReplyDeleteI can so relate to being made to feel like a burden.(I won't go into that here or my blogs)
ReplyDeleteI did want to tell you that I found some added information that I added to my Goodby "Danno" posting it is an answer to you question that you posted with your comment.I think you will get a kick out of the added info.
Beautiful post!!
ReplyDeleteJBR just remember you are a wonderful jewel in the eyes of God. You bring hope to so many of us in blogging land. Hugs my friend.
ReplyDeletewords....that whole thing about words not hurting us....wrong...they do...they go right into our spirits and live. Great post...so much truth
ReplyDeleteFound you on Sarah's blog - we make up quite a group.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am going to say it is a wonderful group of people who are getting their lives in order.
I often wish I had been beaten then emotionally abused. You can remember the beatings whereas you can't quite pin point and deal with the words - you know they were there - but they 'change' you. Your core and your essence.
It can be done though - and you will get through it.
God bless you.
sandie
I so understand sweetie. I have shared before how my Daddy could cut me to the core with his words. Three weeks ago I saw a frail man who used to be strong and tower over all dwindling helplessly away. He lost his ten decade battle with leukemia. I've been thinkin' of the good in him he brought to my childhood. I will write on that soon.
ReplyDeleteI will probably not be ready to share the 'other' side of him while my Mom is still living. It would just be too hard on both of us.
I have overcome much but there are still day when that voice stuck in my head is yellin' that I'm just not good enough...that's when I remind myself...yes I am...I am a child of the King and life just doesn't get any better than that.
Hang in there sweetie...it will get easier.
God bless and have an extraordinary weekend!!! :o)
"Our own thoughts and words, our own labels can become as powerful as those of our youth. It takes practice to believe in ourselves. But we can break the past's hold on us." AMEN.
ReplyDeleteI love this. Thank you, wholeheartedly, JBR! Hugs and kisses! :)
Amen...you are so very special...
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed that your parents said these things to a child. I know this exists out there, but the reality of it makes me feel sad. Your positive attitude is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteGreat post JBR... honestly, you are making me proud, just to hear the daily growth in your heart and words!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs!
You are not a burden, JBR. You are a lovely person and I really appreciate when you share yourself on this blog. It sounds like you're doing a good job of distancing yourself from your mom so that her words have less of an impact. It's a slow process, I know, but you're doing it!
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
Cruel words from loved ones cut like a knife, don't they? From a stranger we might be able to let it roll off our shoulders but from our own families they can be devastating. May our Lord heal these wounds in you, JBR. I pray that his love encompasses you from head to toe. You are precious in his eyes.
ReplyDeleteI believe in you (((JBR))).
ReplyDeleteNo thanks was needed...Take care please.