"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Today is my mother's birthday. We will be spending some time together and then dinner. Inevitably no matter what the occasion we always end up arguing. Our arguments and/or stubbornness stem from her controlling of me. I resent that now. She has already shared a list of things with me that she wants to control, one being my finances. Lord give me strength!!!

I am still in the process of detaching from my mother. She is fighting the detaching process with full force. The excerpt below shares the definition on False Guilt. Something I suffer greatly from and some of you may also.

My mum will try her darnedest today to make me feel guilty about something that I had no part in. The time is approaching soon to really tell her that I am not taking on this false guilt! I am feeling queasy in seeing her today.

Heavenly Father I come before You and thank You for Your atonement of our sins. I choose NOT to take on this false guilt that anyone may put upon me. It is NOT mine to take. It will be a hard stronghold to break, but I am trusting You Father to help me to. Amen!

Have you ever felt guilty? Of course you have, usually because you were indeed guilty. But what about those times when you have feelings of guilt even when you didn't do anything wrong? We would call this false guilt.

Usually a person driven by false guilt is afraid of freedom because in every act of freedom is the possibility of offending someone. Offending someone is unacceptable. Other people are seen as pipelines of approval. If they're offended, the pipeline shuts down.

© 1996 Probe Ministries International


  1. Great post :)
    There is a live meditation event in HK if you are so inclined and happen to be near yor computer :)


    TNH will do a talk afterward. should be an hour or so I think..
    Have a great Sunday JBR :)

  2. Awesome Post! Thanks for sharing.


  3. hi jbr~ oh goodness yes, i can strongly identify with feeling false guilt. if i'm not careful, i'll find myself apologizing and feeling guilty often for things i don't need to. and at this point this mostly comes from within me, than from a person trying to make me feel guilty. my heart goes out to you that you have someone close in your life who puts such pressure on you to doubt in yourself, to allow them to interfere in your life, or any other effects that controlling has on you.

    i wish you all the best today. that you are able to have a day that brings you peace and in which you feel as strong as you need to be~

  4. prayers for you today....stay strong as you need...

  5. HUGS JBR... I pray that Christ speaks through you to your mother.

    Peace and love,

  6. Just praying that you will indeed have a great time together. No fighting or arguments!

    I believe that if someone is trying to make me feel guilty, it is a reflection of what they feel inside even if I haven't done anything wrong. I used to be upset then. With the Lord's grace, I'm beginning to understand to speak up for myself if needed.

    Praying for the Lord to guide you, give you discernment and protect you both from the enemy's attacks who will try to destroy any relationship. Just remember, if you're getting uncomfortable, you do have the Armor! Blessings.

  7. Sending strength your way JBR. You have no ability to change your mom, but you are well on the way to changing how she affects you and that is even better!!! WooHoo, and even is she is a guilt monger I wish your Mom the best birthday she can bring herself to celebrate.

  8. God will be there with you JBR!

  9. Good luck at dinner! You are very strong, JBR. I think you'll do a great job of taking care of yourself tonight.

    Wishing you well,

  10. I can identify with your guilt. I wish for you to build an invisible wall and not to let it hurt you today, sandie

  11. I am so sorry that this is such a process for you! I can somewhat understand the guilt because my mother thrives on guilt, but hear me - when I stopped wearing the guilt hat, my mother (and family) kicked and screamed but now, my mother respects me more, I can tell. She hasn't tried to give me the guilt hat for some time. I think she is relieved that I'm not that way anymore. Maybe your mother will soon realize it is nice to be with you and not feel as if she has the burden of control to deal with. (hopefully)

  12. I don't know your situation, so I won't offer any advice. I'll simply say I've been the victim of false guilt, and it's sometimes difficult to move past it, much less recognize it in the first place. Good for you for doing both, and may the Lord guide and direct you as you continue to deal with (what is obviously) a sticky situation.


  13. False guilt is a tough one, JBR. May God give your mother the light to see that the way she treats you is unhealthy for both of you and that good boundaries improve a relationship in the long run. There is nothing wrong with being firm but kind about your right to live your own life. She seems to have a lot of fears that need to be worked through. I will pray for her, too.

  14. JBR, you're in my thoughts today ... pls do not go to see your mom expecting the worse though... I would probably go there imagining it will go surprisingly well ... and I would drop the expectations of the outcome of this meeting ... I know it's hard for you but please try ... imagine your mom as the little girl she ones was ... try to find empathy with that little girl she was ... don't concentrate on what she became ... oh I hope you don't mind me saying that dear JBR, just speaking from my own experience ... blessings!!