After reading this devotional, I am realizing more and more the endless battle to regain my self worth. My heart that was damaged as a child holds much shame.
But, I am on the way to healing. Each day brings a renewing of hope to my little girl's pain of shame. God continues to cleanse me, especially on Sonday's as the Holy Spirit's presence is alive and well when I pray and worship. I continue to fight for believing that I have been forgiven once and for all from my past. Understanding more that my behavior was a result of my brokenness and damage. That it was not little JBR's fault. God is not a condemning God.
"This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our
hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is
greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." I John 3:19-20
Sometimes it is difficult to believe that we 'belong to the truth'. Sometimes it is difficult to imagine having our 'hearts at rest'. The part of our heart that is damaged by shame reminds us of all our inadequacies and failures. As this text puts it, our hearts condemn us.
In the process of recovery many of us become aware that we have internalized a voice of shame and self-condemnation. We may tell ourselves that we are unlovable. "How could anyone care about me?" Or, we may tell ourselves that we are worthless. "I'm no good." Or, we may tell ourselves that we are not capable. "I can't do anything right." These are some of the ways we condemn ourselves. We also may question our faith. We may wonder, as this verse puts it, whether "we belong to the truth". Because of our early experiences of rejection and our current self-condemnation, we find ourselves expecting God to condemn us. As a result we cannot rest in God's presence.
But God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything. God knows our history. God knows the wounds in our past. God knows our humanness. God knows our strengths and weaknesses. God knows our failures. God knows we condemn ourselves and expect that God will condemn us as well. God knows that we need healing.
God is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything. And God does not condemn us.
I long to set my heart at rest, Lord.
I long to rest in your presence.
But, my heart is full of self-condemnation.
The voices of shame are loud within me.
I am afraid that you will also condemn me, Lord.
I am afraid that you will agree with the shame voices.
Speak to me today, Lord.
Speak more loudly than the voices of shame.
Be greater than my heart.
Shame can only feed on the hidden things, Lord,
but nothing is hid from you.
Be more powerful than the shame, Lord.
Let me find rest today in your love.
Amen.
Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
Great devotional!
ReplyDeleteOh you don't know how MUCH I needed this
ReplyDeletetoday, JBR. Thank you so much for this
nourishing lifeline......shame only feeds on
hidden things indeed.
Oh how true
and how freeing
just to read these words.
My heart is deeply comforted.
I struggle with you
and believe for release for the both of us
today.
Love and grace,
Jen
HI JBR- keep on believing and surrendering to your own perfect truth. Regardless of the details, it is your truth to embrace - and God loves you just as you are.There is nothing to forgive of your own truth - for it is you, beautiful you.
ReplyDeleteLove Gail/Annie(kid in me)
peace......
I think it's common for people who have been through what you have been through to feel shame, but I hope that, at least with your "rational" mind (as opposed to your "emotional" mind), you can see that there were circumstances beyond your control. I think that will be a key to your recovery and to your happiness.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
JBR inspiring devotional. I see how the Lord is creating a new woman of faith in you. As you remain open to his spirit the cleansing process as you say will continue and be complete one day. Waiting with you. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful post. How easy we fall into self condemnation. The truth, our faith in God is the only thing that can set us free. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAmen! Who better to trust than the One Who created us in the first place. Standing in the gap and believing in His healing for you, for all of us. God bless JBR!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good devotional, JBR. It reminds us that God's love is far greater than our wounds. It's a comforting thought to know that the Lord knows us through and through and really, truly, wants to heal us and bring us peace.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, JBR!
Great devotional and wonderful post. If God doesn't condemn you, than you must know that He wouldn't want you to condemn yourself! Be kind to yourself, JBR!
ReplyDeleteThis was awesome.
ReplyDeleteGod knows indeed..........blessings on this Lord's day and everyday.....
ReplyDeleteGod is greater than our self-condemning hearts. God knows everything. And God does not condemn us. Amen
Sometimes I am my worst enemy...I have to remind myself that I am the Apple of his Eye.
I sometimes wonder JBR, if we even have a small clue about how boundless and deep God's love is for each of us. Keep going... His promises tell us that all we hope and trust in is real... He sees every struggle and He is bigger than any of them.
ReplyDeletexo
Love the devotional!! Always keep believing, esp. in yourself!! We all believe in you dear!!!!
ReplyDeleteHUG,
Coreen xoxoxo
Hi JBR,
ReplyDeleteWell reading your post it came to my mind imagine how Adam and Eve felt when they committed the very first sin. I am sure they felt terrible know that their sin was brought on all of mankind. But I am sure that God reasured them as He ushered them out of the Garden of Eden, to not worry for He has a plan of redemption and it would lie in their offspring. Can you imagine how Adam and Eve both wondered at each birth of their child, is this the one?
Shame is hard to deal with, we all have shame of some sort or another. But praise God He loves us enough to remove that shame from us forever! Jesus Christ!!! Praise His Holy name!!
Hang in there dear one.....you are clean and shame free in the eyes of the only one that matters, God our Father!
Blessings,
<><
I so understand shame and how it works. It ate at me for years. My heart goes out to you :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog on Friday and wishing me well. It meant a lot.
JBR, NOBODY matters. You DO. Sit straight, hold your chin high.
ReplyDelete