In t. tonight we discussed how much closer I am getting to the core of my pain.
Also talked about my depression. Have been forgetting a lot more lately the simplest things and at times, but not much, stringing words together that do not make sense.
My boss and I had a good laugh yesterday with my response to a work related question from her. I answered "if I have my clothes on." Made no sense. She looked at me. I looked at her. And we both burst out laughing.
Depression can cause forgetfulness the "foggy-head" syndrome and physical pain. Since t. I have been more open to my emotional pain and my whole physical body is more vulnerable as well as my mental state. Case in point, my painful episode last week after t. (I pray for NOT a repeat performance tonight) of my severe aching of my muscles in my legs.
I have noticed so much more pain in my body since the inception of my journey close to 2 1/2 years ago.
All that being said, these are good things.
GOOD THINGS YOU ASK???
Yes!
Shows I am getting closer to my breakthrough.
Although not as bad as last week, thank you Lord, after a couple of hours last night, I began becoming very lethargic and my legs started hurting again! This is totally amazing how one can be physically effected by trauma that has been buried so long. I once again had to stop what I was doing and retire for the evening and alleviate some of my muscle pain.
Even though I have pain today, it is manageable. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain.
It's very hard to face the past head on, isn't it? Opening old wounds is never easy. Praying that our Lord continues to bless you with the courage and endurance to complete this journey, my friend :)
ReplyDeleteI find also that depression causes foggy head, or in my case complete forgetfulness. The day after a painful T. session, I arrived at work having forgotten to apply deodorant, without the cord for my laptop, and during lunch I lost my electronic pass card for the door. Great you have a nice boss and that there are some good things. Hope also for no pain for you this time JBR.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you as you peel off the layers and get down to that core. God will bring healing there and things will get better. That's what He did for me.
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic news! Keep on keeping you your are doing great!
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for no more leg cramps!
Blessings,
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2 and a half years???? Oh man.
ReplyDeletePositive way to see it. Growth usually comes with much pain. proud of you
ReplyDeleteHugs
PROGRESS IS PAINFUL. THE PAIN INVOLVED IS ALL PART OF THE PROCESS. AND THOUGH YOU MAY NOT WELCOME THE PAIN WHO WOULD, THERE IS THE PROCESS AGAIN. LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DAY OF YOUR BREAK THROUGH.
ReplyDeletewell... good for you then :))
ReplyDeleteJBR I'm inspsired by your positive outlook on your healing breakthrough. People often look for relief of their problems through the medical profession, and certainly God uses medicine and doctors to heal. However, God created us and knows our issues more than any doctor. He will lead us into the truth that pinpoints the problem, if we're willing. He wants to help you get down to the root of the problem so that you can be healed. When we give place to the wrong thoughts it allows tormenting spirits to plague us, and can even manifest in physical symptoms. Some people get delivered and healed in a moment, and that can happen. You're on the right track my dear. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteJBR: You amaze me at your constant progress forward! So glad the physical pain did not overwhelm you!
ReplyDeletesounds so good JBR...you're a fighter...you're fighting for freedom...love that. Someone said to me when I was down...look behind you and see how far you've come not in front and how far you still need to go....You're doing awesome.
ReplyDeleteSeeing your courage in this journey is very inspiring to me. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete