"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Monday, April 11, 2011

HARD BATTLE


The last few days have really be hard for me emotionally and physically. A very hard weekend for me to deal with. One of the worst. At times I wanted to give up and die. Only by the grace of God am I able to get myself to work today.

Emotionally because God continues to take me through my painful past. Past emotions that are only intensifying. Painful triggers that I cannot and will not avoid, otherwise I revert back to isolation. A place I do not want to be.

This time around I am learning not to complain as much. Instead, replacing my complaints with, "This is all part of my journey. The pain is what I have to go through to get to the other side."

Little by little, the healing continues.

Physically, because I have been more tired and exhausted than normal. (see past posts) Hard to fight anymore emotionally when I am exhausted.

The journey the Lord has me on to healing, has my walls surrounding my heart breaking down fiercely now. Eventually He will have me completely broken in order to be set free totally.


32 comments:

  1. you are doing such a great job JBR! hang on!! this shall pass too ... it always does! sending lots of love.

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  2. With a break down there is a break through. Be excited for what may come.

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  3. (((JBR))) Here listening and supporting you, sweetie.

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  4. Healing is so exhausting. I was worried about you yesterday. You will make it because you are so strong. God bless you sweet one. (((((JBR))))))

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  5. JBR HANG ON. THOUGH YOUR POST IS OF STRUGGLE, YOUR REACHING THE POINT OF NO RETURN WHERE YOU WILL PUSH ON THROUGH. YOUR JOURNEY TO THE PROMISE LAND IS SOON APPROACHING. YOU'VE MUCH SUPPORT HERE. WE LOVE YOU.

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  6. JBR glad to hear from you. Sweet child of Jesus you're in his arms. He has them wrapped around you unbelievably tight. He'll never let you go. Melt in his love. Let him complete the process. You're much loved. God Bless.

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  7. Funny how much our own strength
    tends to hinder healing.
    It's when we lose it that
    the best work gets done.
    You'll make it because
    He is strong.
    He is faithful; He will do it.
    He is taking you there.
    Rest in His strength poured out for you, JBR.
    Love and hugs,
    Jen

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  8. You have so much wisdom to know that God is beaking you in order to totally free you. I'll be praying for strength for you and that freedom comes soon.

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  9. I've been an anoyomous follower of yours for a long time and on occasion I will post. I see the desperation in this post. It may be a hard battle, but by what I've read in the past, you're strong. You have a very strong will. You're determined. Since your inching your way closer to your goal, it's only natural the enemy is pulling out all stops. I am also participating in your cheering gallery. You Go! You Conqure. You win in Jesus.

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  10. Hoeny recovery aint easy. Aches and pains go with the flwo. The process is aslow and sometimes painful. Not good wtih words of widsom. But the pain is worth the freedom.

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  11. Oh girl,
    Those hard weeks and weekends come.Keep on seeking Him.
    Yesterday I listened to a lady from Australia speak and she really focused in on perseverance. In things we don't want to do we need to keep trusting in God. It is a marathon we are running not the 100yrd dash.
    You are really doing amazing. Keep going and I keep praying!

    Smiles and hugs,
    <><

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  12. You're so right about just having to go through the storms! God is right there with you and will never leave you. But I do understand how draining going through it all is!

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  13. It's good to hear from you, JBR! I know your struggle is fierce but keep your chin up my friend - you have had so many break-throughs already and victory in Christ will be yours if you trust Him. Please know that I am praying for you!

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  14. I'm so sorry you're feeling so crummy, JBR. Even though it's so tempting sometimes, we simply CANNOT give up. Please use me as a source of support for you. (((JBR)))

    Wishing you well,
    NOS

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  15. Sorry the days after your therapy are so painful for you JBR. Great that you are on a healing path though. Change does hurt. And feeling hurts.

    I tried having therapy on Fridays a few times, but it entirely wrecked my weekends. Now I go Mondays so only my work suffers and I still have a weekend to speak of.

    Hope you feel better

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  16. Hoping that the next weeks bring more healing than hurting JBR. Take care!

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  17. I hope you will be able to get the rest you need. It is part of your journey but it is oh so hard. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  18. emotions wear down our physical strength, so please! be good to yourself. take it easy. one day at a time... *hugs*

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  19. Here listening and caring, JBR. Take care of you xx

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  20. Struggles in life are hard. Hang on jBR.

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  21. sorry it was such a tough weekend...and being so tired makes us suceptible to temptation and attack as well...get some rest...

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  22. Sweetie you're doing a fine job. Recovery doesn't happen in a day. There are steps involved. A process that takes time and unfortunately pain.

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  23. Thinking of you as you pull through. It is ok to be exhausted. It is ok giving oneself a break and taking a deep breath. It is ok to pick up later on again. Hugs and love down South. Paula xxx

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  24. Hello my new friend. I can not begin to say I know what you are going through because I don't. I can feel your pain through your writing. I do know that when something painful happens to us in our past and we try so hard (with God's help) to let it go, the devil tries his best to bring this painful past back for us to remember. This is when we have to cling tightly to what God has taught us. We have to defeat the devil with the word of God. You have to literally talk out loud to the devil until the thoughts go away. You say, I am more than a conqueror! Nothing formed against me shall prosper! I have been made whole through the blood of Jesus Christ!

    God is healing you "little by little". You are over coming "little by little". Satan does not like this fact and will try his best to discourage you. Never, ever forget that Satan has already been defeated! You have won the victory over him so he does not have any power! The only power he can have over you is the power YOU give to him. Don't let him overpower you, you overpower him by God's word. Stay strong my friend. I pray the words God laid on my heart are of some comfort to you.

    I love and care for you deeply my friend.

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  25. godslittlestangelApril 12, 2011

    Our Heavenly Father wants us to take our burdens to Him in Jesus' name and leave them at His feet. He cares so much for us. We, many times try to solve our problems on our own and end up in a worse state than when we started. If we would only say, "Lord, I give this problem to you. You are the only One who can solve this. You are the Only One who can heal me and help me and deliver me."

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  26. godslittlestangelApril 12, 2011

    Me again from godslittlestangel. Forgot my blog address. http://jesusredeemer.blogspot.com/

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  27. godslittlestangelApril 12, 2011

    Me again from godslittlestangel. Forgot my blog address. http://jesusredeemer.blogspot.com/

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  28. (((JBR!!!))) God bless and protect you.

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  29. (((JBR)))

    Just know that you are getting close to a break through moment because the devil doesn't want a christian to win. Right now he is throwing
    everthing he has against you.

    I pray for continued peace and blessings.
    Love you.

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