The Lord continues to do major surgery in me. I have not been able to worship Him at my church in a few weeks. With the major crises with my mum and other personal issues, has kept me away.
Today, in His house, I was able to worship and be in His presence. Was a welcomed experience.
Towards the end of the service, I felt the deep surgical touch of the Lord hitting some painful areas of my core that only He can get into. It hurt emotionally what was going on today. Deep sadness, loneliness and feelings of abandonment. These are very hard for me.
I knew I have been suffering these past weeks emotionally and physically as well. Wondering how long can I hold on. A lot of desperation cries of "Where are You God?" "How much more can I take?"
There is no warning when the Spirit starts probing my pain. I have learned that there is no sense in fighting against my pain. As emotionally painful I may feel during this time, and knowing I have been ministered by Him before in these areas I continue to be open to His healing touch. However long and painful it may take.
I can even feel and experience my demeanor changing while the Spirit is moving and probing inside me. Like a "let go" type of feeling which soon is followed by exhaustion. I sense there still is a lot more "pain" inside that He still needs to get at. A wound that will take a lot longer to heal.
This song shares how all my broken pieces, some removed, and some realigned, are being put back stitch by stitch by the Spirit. He knows what trials await me this coming week. Better than I do. He knows the pain I will go through. But, each time another stitch will have to be sown when a painful issue has to be addressed. Knowing I am slowly being repaired to what He intended me to be. W-H-O-L-E.
Blue and black,
Heart torn out.
You uncover what's beneath my skin.
There and back.
Theres no doubt your touch is my medicine.
I'll be ok, cause you heal me.
And I give you all my pieces broken.
In your hands there is nothing that you can't fix.
My heart is frayed, my scars are open.
So put me back together now stitch by stitch.
Put me back together now stitch by stitch.
What you say, without words
Resuscitates what was numb inside.
So repair me every thread of me.
Cause you're bringing me back to life.
I'll be ok cause you heal me.
And I give you all my pieces broken.
In your hands there's nothing that you can't fix.
My heart is frayed, my scars are open.
So put me back together now stitch by stitch.
I'm still afraid of falling
Some how its taking over me.
Don't ever let me let it go.
There and back.
There's no doubt your touch makes me whole again.
And I give you all my pieces broken
In your hands there's nothing that you can't fix
My heart is frayed, my scars are open
Put me back together now stitch by stitch
Put me back together now stitch by stitch,
So put me back together now stitch by stitch
I'm glad you had the opportunity to be rejuvenated by the Lord despite what you are going through. I haven't been able to go to our fellowship lately too because I got moved to PM shift and the schedule sucked.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was a dressmaker. Growing up I was fascinated when she cut those fabrics with precision. Using only her old trusted pair of scissors. Piece by piece, she would sew the pieces together. And what a beautiful masterpiece she created be it was a dress, skirt or other things. Her customers loved her work and kept coming back.
Your heart's cries and the song you had shared reminded me of these. And how beautiful that through that brokenness, you and I are being healed, sewn with pain, but only to become a beautiful masterpiece. Courtesy of the Best Maker! God bless JBR. Praying His strength and comfort and provisions for you.
JBR Happy Fourth of July to you! Your experiences on your journey are solely yours and God's. He's the best leader to get you from point A to point B. He sees the pitfalls up ahead. But will hold your hand all the way through your battles. The song is inspiring. Hang on. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteHI JBR - remember when we are helping those less fortunate, in need and sick - we are doing His work - all you are doing for your Mom is in Hos image. Put yourself aside for now and go where you are needed. He will be with you every step
ReplyDeleteLove Gail
peace.....
I LOVE THIS SONG. SOME HOW I'VE HEARD IT RECENTLY. WE ALL CAN TAKE SOMETHING AWAY WITH YOUR POSTS. YOUR DOING GREAT.
ReplyDeleteHealing may be painful at times but it is so worth it! May our Lord bring you to wholeness, my friend :) Hugs!!
ReplyDeleteHi JBR,
ReplyDeleteGod is doing a new work in you and when He has finished piecing you together you will be so perfect.
I love this song and this guys voice is amazing!
Thanks for sharing.
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I love this post and the song and the picture of how God is working on cutting out the old, infected places in you and stitching you back together. This work of God's is always painful but worth it to be healed. I praise Him for the work He's doing in you and I pray for you as you open yourself to His healing touch.
ReplyDeleteBless you. New to your blog. I can relate. Your profile is like my life growing up.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard the past few weeks have been for you, so I'm glad you were able to go to church because I know how comforting that can be for you. Keep hanging on. You're working so hard-- you will feel whole soon.
ReplyDeleteWishing you well,
NOS
Thinking of you. Your day of personal independence will come!
ReplyDeleteThat's what He does, makes 'something beautiful' out of our old, tired, pain filled, and not so pretty lives. He is doing that in your life JBR, and He knows every single pain you feel. You are a living testimony and you are trusting Him to restore you and heal everything that needs His touch. He hears those prayers of your heart, and is answering them even now.
ReplyDeletexo
I've come back to read more on you. The more I read the more I see what you've gone through I went through. ARe you sure we're not sisters? Wishing you no more pain.
ReplyDeleteI think that is generally how he heals, stitch by stitch, sometimes he pauses and we panick, but the trick is to tell ourselves that he's just flexing his fingers he'll resume in no time.
ReplyDeletemy life is hard, my worst nightmare really. no no, I never saw this even in my wildest nightmares. I get good and bad days myself, so on your bad days lets hold each other up.s he pauses and we panick, but the trick is to tell ourselves that he's just flexing his fingers he'll resume in no time.
my life is hard, my worst nightmare really. no no, I never saw this even in my wildest nightmares. I get good and bad days myself, so on your bad days lets hold each other up.
Hi JBR.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that God is faithful. He will heal every part of you and stitch you back together. Our pain is different but I know how it feels to have the Lord working on your pain. Just keep on doing what you're doing and allowing Him to work.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I will be following you and seeing what all the Lord is doing in your life.
Blessings to you...Chelle
JBR just checking up on you. Seeing how you're doing. God Bless.
ReplyDeletei am always amazed at how i seem to be going through much of what you are experiencing in the now and of course have experienced so much of what is in your past. i also feel as if this is a time when the dross is coming to the surface in me and God is bending over and scooping it all away so only the purity of His product can immerge. we both know that this will bring forth something beautiful...less of us and more of HIM. but, in the meantime it is a very painful process or is for me. i am so self-critical as it is, and i find it difficult to not associate this process with those feelings that i am a "bad girl." what you have posted today was a reminder to me of His goodness, grace and love. thank you dear friend.
ReplyDeleteThe pain of healing is what I like to call a good hurt. You are so right though- it can come at any time, and often when we least expect it. So thankful for my healer God, Jehovah Ralfa.
ReplyDeleteAnd I give you all my pieces broken
ReplyDeleteIn your hands there's nothing that you can't fix
My heart is frayed, my scars are open
Put me back together now stitch by stitch
Put me back together now stitch by stitch,
So put me back together now stitch by stitch
ok, I may not be sobbing, but the tears are starting to flow..
Father God, I thank You..I thank YOu so much for never leaving us nor forsaking us...Thank You for healing us..never leaving us the same. Never giving up on us. Taking our mess of a life and making it a message of Your power and glory revealed. Thank YOu for showing me tonight that You have and are healing me and YES it does hurt...it's a good hurt like Sharon B stated..it's also a healthy hurt...Like You reminded me this morning in that vision ...so thank YOu...I praise Your Holy Name..amen amen amen