Thank you to all who responded to my last post.
My brother went home one day earlier than expected. Which for me was nice. I was at least able to relax some what despite continually battling these painful, yet mysterious symptoms. (see previous posts)
Whatever I am up against, I have come to the end of my rope. Have given, as best I can, the pain and discomfort over to the Lord. Asking for clear direction. Whether to wait it out or seek other avenues. At the same time realizing this present physical pain is all part of my emotional journey as well. Both now interconnecting with one another intensely.
God is refining me in the fire. Ain't fun! Letting me go through some hard times to grow and smooth out my rough edges. Sure...... I would prefer an easier way without this pain..... but maybe I would not be as responsive as I am now? Only He knows. I am trying also NOT to "understand," but to "just do and just be."
During this trial compassion for others comes more easily for me. Despite how terrible I feel. And in the same breath anger is waiting right around the corner rearing its ugly head when the pain becomes unbearable and frightening.
"He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." Malachi 3:3
JBR what a post full of promise. Sorry you're still feeling pain. Praying that God will lead you to the decision to make. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteGlad your brother left early! I'm sorry you're so unwell and am sending healing wishes. Anger is natural when you're in pain. take care
ReplyDeletePraying for healing for you and believing God is empowering you with His strength and peace. I can identify with the wait for breakthrough. Like you, I know we have to take each step of the process and it's not fun.
ReplyDeleteHi JBR,
ReplyDeleteIt's hard isn't it? I sympathize with you because suffering is never easy. I hope the appointment with the neurologist goes well and I will be praying for you. God is with you no matter what the circumstances are - this knowledge always comforted me when I was ill.
Hugs!
I have decided to make an appt. with the Neurologist for the 13th of December. That was the earliest.
ReplyDelete"I am trying also NOT to "understand," but to "just do and just be."...one of the hardest things in the world to do...but acceptance of it just brings us one step closer to victory...
ReplyDeleteSo glad the Refiner NEVER leaves His precious one in the fire alone....
JBR....it's funny, reading your last few posts...the term "sacred fire" came to mind many times, but I purposely didn't comment about that because I didn't want to presume what you were going through. Now that you mentioned it, I can tell you about a song that comes to mind...it's very, very, old (early 80's). I looked for it on youtube...but couldn't find it. The song is called "Sacred Fire" by someone named Margaret Becker. She was big in the Christian Music seen back then. She was I(still is) one of my most favorite. God has used her music many times to reach me in the depths of my being.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, here are the lyrics....
Sacred Fire lyrics
Fire of separation
Fire of sacrifice
Fire of purifying heat
Burned on rocky altars
Through the ancient nights
Now that fire's burning deep in me
My heart is the altar
I am the priest
My life's the only sacrifice
The sacred fire needs
Chorus:
Sacred fire
Burn Your mark on me
With Your flame brand the Name
For everyone to see
Sacred fire
Burn your mark on me
I am honored to be set apart
So burn your ownership into my heart
Fire of refining
Fire of discipline
Burn away all my impurities
Fire of consecration
Carefully define
The image of the Holy One in me
I know that I am privileged
To bear the sacred light
So I will lay down everything
To keep the flame alive
(Chorus)
Sacred fire
Burn Your mark on me
With Your flame brand the Name
For everyone to see
Sacred fire
I was always struck by the chorus..."burn your mark on me"...oh how the burning fire of His love hurts so good!
Thanks for letting me share this exhaustingly LONG comment with you!
Love this song! Glad to read that you made an appointment. Praying that the doctor will know what is causing this.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
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SUCH A POST WITH ENCOURAGEMENT AND HOPE. PRAYING THAT YOU WILL FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU. HANG IN THERE.
ReplyDeleteContinuing to pray for you. Refining is never comfortable but it brings out purity. God's Blessings and Healing to you!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite songs! God Blee you.
ReplyDelete