"Yet a time is coming
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23

My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.

Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.

Daddy let me be secure in You only!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

IDLE WORDS

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:36-37

I had lunch yesterday with someone that I befriended at my last job before being laid off. Others at that company really do not give this individual the time of day mainly because of his appearance and gruffness. Having no clue what a really nice and compassionate guy he really is. He has had a rough life.

But, somehow we clicked. I had to work closely with him my last days at work. We ended up talking about his family, kids and other stuff. He made me laugh. He was my bright human light in a dark work environment. Just his expression would set me off laughing.

Half of the time I did not even have to ask him what was on his mind, because we both just had to look at one another and know and give a wink. I can gravitate to this kind of individual for some reason and feel comfortable. Even being the opposite sex, I feel safe with him. Where others would write him off because of his outer appearance. We would even talk about that. That is how comfortable we were with each other in sharing.

He has been trying to have lunch with me for these past six months. Repaying me back for helping him at work. Finally, I felt led to meet up with him yesterday.

I knew it was going to be a challenge for me. As I have changed since he last saw me. He only remembering how at the time I was suffering terribly with the change-of-life and hot flashes. As well as what was eventually coming down to my last days before I was let go. He knew my frustrations and stabbing remarks of others. And we would go back and forth with our comments. I was a miserable mess during this time. Hurting both emotionally and physically. That is why I believe part of the reason that the Lord had "me let go" because I was killing myself with unbelievable worry and anger.

Anyway, yes I learned a lot from our luncheon and what has transpired since my departure. Some very painful things that still hurt me. Showing me I am still a wounded and vulnerable little girl.

I prayed a head of time and even the weeks before for me to be conscience and to curb my tongue and not chime in like I used to do when I would meet up with him. But, to hear him out. Because he really does not have anyone he can trust there to vent.

I had my elbows resting on the table with my fingers to my mouth. Listening to his heart's cry. I found myself wanting to say something negative many times. So instead I tried to clamped down on the side of my index finger with my teeth. Realizing later, the battle wounds of my poor finger were great.

Cannot report that I was totally successful in watching what I said. But, I did a whole lot better than what I expected. Because I wanted to. I wanted to honor God!

15 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 12, 2012

    JBR you said it all in your closing comments. "Because you wanted to." You wanted to please God. Can't get any better than that. He'll see to it that your heart mends from your pain. God Bless.

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  2. I'm sure it meant a lot to him to have someone who was willing to listen to him. It sounds to me like you are making a lot of progress as you continue to heal from your past pain. Hope you have a good day today.

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  3. It is indeed hard to sometimes stop our tiny, little tongue in either starting fires or joining in on an already big fire. I often pray before going to my workplace like what you did. Only by His power. Glory be to God! Have a great Tue JBR!

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  4. glory to God for evidence of your healing!

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  5. I am proud of you for not allowing temptation to win this time! Sometimes people just need to vent, and a listening ear is more helpful than feeding the fire with our words. You seem like a good friend. By the way, I had a really bad job that made me so sick, I hardly slept at night, and when I did I had night terrors! I sleep really well now, without bad dreams...So I have no doubt God did not want you in that place any longer...He told me to get out of where I worked for years before I finally had to leave...I blame a lot of my health problems on staying there for too long. Because I suffered a lot of abuse growing up, I tend to take a lot from others, and even think I deserve nothing better...that is a lie straight from hell! God wants us to be joyful and healthy, and to know we are precious to him.
    ~God Bless~Lisa

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  6. You honored God by befriending this man and by listening. You honored God in struggling so hard to keep negative emotions to yourself. And things that you couldn't hold inside, you are human and God knows that. He is proud that you fought that instinct as well as you did.

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  7. thanks for visiting my blog and your kind comment :)

    I am glad you were able to have lunch with your former co-worker and that you had resolved to go in there with trying to honor God with your words; it seems like you were able to do so for the most part and enjoy the time with your friend catching up on this and that. It is so hard to control the tongue sometimes indeed. I'm guilty of that a lot of the times myself.

    may your day be a good one!

    betty

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  8. I know the feeling.....
    Before I know it my tongue often runs ahead of me....
    Blessings and hope you have a great day!

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  9. Way to go girl!! Baby steps lead to bigger and bigger steps and where your heart lies is what will come out of your mouth. :) It is a work in progress and you, my sweet dear, have your heart in the right place, wanting to honour God. You did!

    Blessings,
    <><

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  10. Praise God that you were able to have victory through Him. We are all in the process and as long as we are moving forward I think it calls for rejoicing! This is such a difficult battle...many blessings as God met you right where you were.

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  11. JBR,
    Good for you...and yes, thank God!

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  12. That's beautiful, Grace :) "Because I wanted to. Because I wanted to honor God." Your finger might have been wounded but I bet God was very pleased! Especially since He knows how much you went through at that job!

    Hugs!

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  13. That's awesome, JBR. So very proud of you. Each action like this takes us one small step forward toward healing. Continue to stick to your guns, and a life of wholeness and fulfillment is yours to take! Many hugs to you. xx

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  14. It sounds like you prepared yourself well for what this visit could entail, and that you were able to keep some things to yourself. It takes a strong person to know what should and should not be said. Blessings.

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  15. You should be very proud of yourself for going out and meeting with him. That took strength.

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