There is a reoccurring memory that pops up frequently. Usually discarding it as such. Never could pin-point its meaning until this morning.
I was in elementary school. Around 8 years old. Standing in the lunch line outside the doors of the cafeteria. Lunch ticket in my hand. Requirement for us kids to get our lunches.
Somehow during the course of this one particular day in line, just before we kids were let in to receive our lunches, I noticed the lunch ticket not in my hand anymore. Major panic!!!
I remember going in to flight or fight mode!
Recalling the memory this morning, I actually felt the panic, fear and hopelessness that went through my little body in losing that lunch ticket. For this memory to reside in my conscience for so many years, is very significant.
I mean, should an eight year old suffer from panic attacks that young? Is that a normal response for an eight year old? To go into panic mode and not just sluff it off? What happened to me back then that made me become so fearful?
I felt like I did something wrong and needed to correct it! That I was not responsible or something. I would be reprimanded or punished if I lost that ticket and would not be able to eat.
I remembered quickly scurrying around behind me. Finally finding my lunch ticket in the bushes a few feet behind me. How it got there I do not know? I know I was relieved in finding it.
I have always thought about this incident and its meaning when it would come up. Did I engage in so much conversation with my fellow-classmates that day, that I lost all site of the ticket being in my hand that I just released it to the world?
Comments are welcomed. I am just journaling my thoughts here in order to process. Thanks.
and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!