I did not think this post would affect so many of you. WoW! You all are wonderful!
"You're worth something because God says you’re worth something—not because of what people think or say about you." - Joyce Meyer
Majority of my healing process is accepting who I am in Christ. Not from people in order to feel good about myself.
For many years I have put on masks in order for people to like NOT the real me (because I did not like or even know the real me), but to like what I thought others would like. Hiding the real me. I was soooooo very afraid of who I was. Literally hiding in many cases. Would not share an opinion, a comment and keep to myself for fear of being wrong and scolded.
I so longed for people to like me. To feel accepted and loved.
Accepting and liking myself as someone of worth has always been a struggle for me. My background growing up was traumatic. Alcoholic parents divorcing, fighting, yelling, family splitting up, me pulled away from family and friends to another part of the country when I was 9/10. Being sexually abused by my older brother around the same time. Establishing the ground work for confusion, fear, lack of proper nurturing from both parents and then ultimately shutting myself down emotionally. Resulting in dysfunction.
Learning most of my dysfunction early on from a very fearful, overbearing and controlling mum who had issues herself with dealing with divorcing my father, breaking up of our family, then remarrying right away to fill her emptiness and guilt.
I then checked out emotionally in order to survive what I had been going through. Especially disassociating during my teen years. My attention span was nil and school was a farce for me to retain hardly anything academically. I was walking around in a body pretending someone was home, but the little girl inside had left a long time ago. Creating her own fantasy world of people in her mind in order to feel good about herself.
Wo, I had no clue this post was going to go this way. It was supposed to be simple and short like most of mine these days. I guess I had to lay some groundwork once again in order to lead up to the answer to self worth! And that is finding our worth in Christ.
I still struggle with my Heavenly Daddy accepting me and loving me. But, I am drawing closer to His love as I heal.
Most my masks have been discarded and the real me exposed. On occasion I will put one on. Until I work through the situation that called for it and get my true self and worth in order once again.
We do not have to perform for our Heavenly Daddy. He accepts us just as we are. He knows every little pain we went through and will go through. He knows we are broken people living in a broken world. He loves us unconditionally regardless. We always have the assurance of our worth in Him! Hallelujah! When people let us down, and they will, believe me they will, our Heavenly Daddy will never! He is someone we can ALWAYS count on! And He says we are Worth It!