and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Nothing has greater ability to lead us into temptation than unforgiveness.” –Beth Moore
I posted this a few days ago, then I took it off after a couple of hours. Sometimes the Holy Spirit gives me a check in my spirit saying, "not now." He does that to me here on occassion. Maybe it was not the right time. Maybe the one person that needs to read this, will be willing now. Only God knows! Anyway, now I feel led to post this......
I do not know why I feel led to do a post about this. Maybe someone out there needs to read this. I am not the greatest example to share on this topic. But, I will try.
First let me reiterate, that I grew up and lived most my life sheltered and isolated. Never having a real close friend. Even to this day. Someone where I can share on the spur of the moment my pain, triumphs, connect with, etc. So, really I have not been involved in meaningful and caring relationships that would cause strife and possible unforgiveness.
So, since I really have not had meaningful relationships where strife would result in unforgiveness, in order for me to complete this post and comment on Beth's quote above, I can only fall back on my dysfunctional co-dependent relationship with "PPP" (People Pleasing Person) last year at work.
Did not take me long to see what and how unforgiveness can be so subtle and costly in its way to destruction.
That relationship led me to become angry, selfish, spiteful, prideful and mainly unforgiving. Besides emotionally affecting me, my physical body was under tremendous amount of pressure, strain and tension daily.
Last year was the worst for me physically. From being diagnosed with high blood pressure to "MIS-diagnosed" with shingles which then led to a "MIS-diagnoses" of having brain disease. All in all with deducting point A from point B "I" was able to make my own diagnoses which was correct. Not the doctors. I was beginning to go through the change-of-life. Anyway....
I knew I was wrong in the way I was carrying on with PPP by shutting them out after they threw me under the bus for the umpteenth time. I did not care! Somehow I wanted to make them pay for what they did. My emotional baggage from the past was taking over. My hurt. My pain. I interjected it all into this incident. Sure I may have been protecting myself from being hurt by them, yet again by shutting down. But, I knew I was savoring way too much in my unforgiveness towards them.
During this time my pride level puffed up quite considerably. Believing I was entitled to treat them with the silent treatment and give the appearance I was high and mighty. Blaming them for everything. After all I could not be wrong in the least. I was this perfect representative of humanity and what they did to me I will show them by ignoring them and showing my disgust. I will put them in their place. Yeah right. There is a price to pay in unforgiveness.
There is no pleasure in being this way. Maybe for a couple of days. But, then it becomes taxing on you. Well for me. I can only speak for myself.
For those of you who followed my blog last year with this incident, PPP and I have since verbally made up. It took a while. I can be very stubborn. My t. once told me, "An apology does not always mean a reconciliation."
So, for whatever it is worth, to anyone out there who may need this, I can certainly vouch for that there is temptation in unforgiveness. But, God has provided a way to forgive. And I am so grateful that He did!
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15