Nothing has greater ability to lead us into temptation than unforgiveness.” –Beth Moore
I posted this a few days ago, then I took it off after a couple of hours. Sometimes the Holy Spirit gives me a check in my spirit saying, "not now." He does that to me here on occassion. Maybe it was not the right time. Maybe the one person that needs to read this, will be willing now. Only God knows! Anyway, now I feel led to post this......
I do not know why I feel led to do a post about this. Maybe someone out there needs to read this. I am not the greatest example to share on this topic. But, I will try.
First let me reiterate, that I grew up and lived most my life sheltered and isolated. Never having a real close friend. Even to this day. Someone where I can share on the spur of the moment my pain, triumphs, connect with, etc. So, really I have not been involved in meaningful and caring relationships that would cause strife and possible unforgiveness.
So, since I really have not had meaningful relationships where strife would result in unforgiveness, in order for me to complete this post and comment on Beth's quote above, I can only fall back on my dysfunctional co-dependent relationship with "PPP" (People Pleasing Person) last year at work.
Did not take me long to see what and how unforgiveness can be so subtle and costly in its way to destruction.
That relationship led me to become angry, selfish, spiteful, prideful and mainly unforgiving. Besides emotionally affecting me, my physical body was under tremendous amount of pressure, strain and tension daily.
Last year was the worst for me physically. From being diagnosed with high blood pressure to "MIS-diagnosed" with shingles which then led to a "MIS-diagnoses" of having brain disease. All in all with deducting point A from point B "I" was able to make my own diagnoses which was correct. Not the doctors. I was beginning to go through the change-of-life. Anyway....
I knew I was wrong in the way I was carrying on with PPP by shutting them out after they threw me under the bus for the umpteenth time. I did not care! Somehow I wanted to make them pay for what they did. My emotional baggage from the past was taking over. My hurt. My pain. I interjected it all into this incident. Sure I may have been protecting myself from being hurt by them, yet again by shutting down. But, I knew I was savoring way too much in my unforgiveness towards them.
During this time my pride level puffed up quite considerably. Believing I was entitled to treat them with the silent treatment and give the appearance I was high and mighty. Blaming them for everything. After all I could not be wrong in the least. I was this perfect representative of humanity and what they did to me I will show them by ignoring them and showing my disgust. I will put them in their place. Yeah right. There is a price to pay in unforgiveness.
There is no pleasure in being this way. Maybe for a couple of days. But, then it becomes taxing on you. Well for me. I can only speak for myself.
For those of you who followed my blog last year with this incident, PPP and I have since verbally made up. It took a while. I can be very stubborn. My t. once told me, "An apology does not always mean a reconciliation."
So, for whatever it is worth, to anyone out there who may need this, I can certainly vouch for that there is temptation in unforgiveness. But, God has provided a way to forgive. And I am so grateful that He did!
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15
Good post and I love the picture too. Thanks, JBR. God Bless You! Always need these reminders to forgive SO that we can be forgiven. Not forgiving puts us in God's place of judging, I think, and this means we have unnaturally puffed ourselves up and our acting without a grounding in the humility we need to strive with God's grace, and Mary's intercession to attain, and retain.
ReplyDeleteYour post struck a nerve. I'm gonna have to rethink some family squabling and perhaps give in to asking for some forgiveness. Its like this post was talking to me
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I've got this down yet. It seems I have to keep doing it over and over again. Believe me I am trying because forgiveness just hurt yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long tome to realize that you can forgive someone but you don't have to let them keep treating you the same way. Sometimes the best thing to do is forgive and move on. I always try to figure out why the person is treating me a certain way. Lots of times it doesn't even have to do with me, just that I'm a convenient target. It's hard but if you can find compassion for the person, perhaps they had a terrible childhood also, it makes forgiveness easier.
ReplyDeleteI've found unforgiveness hurts me far more than it hurts the one I refuse to forgive. It's much easier to take it to God and have Him lead me to forgiveness. I agree with Jane--forgiveness doesn't mean you let them hurt you again.
ReplyDeleteI thank God that you finally forgive. And then it will be easier to that next time. We all need to be reminded aleays to forgive coz we can be hurt many times or hurt others too. Have a blessed sunday jbr
ReplyDeleteGod bless you JBR
ReplyDeleteMy forgiving others releases me from a growing bitterness that would turn me into a bitter, angry person. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI can count on one hand the number of "friends" I have. My mother being emotionally unavailable due to her molestation taught me to remain distant as well. No matter how aware I am of that, I remain reclusive. The online world is my social life. I don't go out, I don't hang out with friends and only one woman in my life is really a person I would consider a friend and she's wrapped up in her own world too much to be there for me. But, as far as having fights so that there is a need to forgive, that doesn't need to be. Misunderstandings don't have to ever lead a friendship down a path of "how do I forgive." It's the open mind that keeps the friendship free of that. We learn to accept one another for who we are and if we can't do that, we gracefully move on and realize that person isn't going to make a good friend. If a riff happens, it's a simple matter of "not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." I make a conscious decision and determine it in my heart that I won't carry that burden of hate. I will forgive this person, realizing they're human and I don't know their story as to what makes them this way. Then I free myself of it and move on. They can come with me on the path of life and be the friend I need or move away from me and let me find one who can. Sounds harsh but again, my mother taught me how to interact and it's taken a lifetime to sort it out. This is the better me! Molestation destroys women who become mothers.
ReplyDelete"Lord, send the healing to those who have had their childhood ripped away by a predator and restore them to a place where interacting and being with their people isn't a burden for them, in Jesus name I pray, Amen."
What has helped me with fogiveness is that I feel that when we sin, the sin is commited against God, not one another because whatever a person does that is not right in God's eyes is being done against God. God's love includes not keeping a record of wrongs and so I try not to do that. There is a time to 'make no friends with an angry man' and a time to 'go to a person who has done something against you'. If I lose my peace it is usually due to how I am feeling about sometone that is wrong, I cannot be responsible for how someone else is feeling about me.
ReplyDeleteI think God's telling me something here, as my Bible study was about unforgiveness today, but I just can't see where I'm harboring resentment.
ReplyDeleteLook at how much God has forgiven us and the great cost of that forgiveness! When we think about it, how can we not be forgiving? We are certainly much happier and spiritually healthier when we can forgive. Thank you for sharing this thoughtful post. Hugs and blessings to you!
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