and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
RUNNING AWAY FROM THE FEAR
The Lord revealed to me the other day, and it was confirmed today in therapy as well from my therapist, the extreme fear that overcomes me when I see a certain kind of man or a bunch of men in a group.
Appearance wise it is the stocky build/muscular kind of men that frighten me the most. My brother has always been stocky. I also cringe at the aggressive and touchy feely kind who get too close for comfort.
Through affirmation from my therapist that the lack of boundaries and sexual trauma I experienced with my brothers, first boyfriend sexual encounter at 14 it appears, and other incidents from boys from Junior High School, contributed to the fears of vulnerability and the possibility of being attacked and over powered.
The Lord is trying to deal with me in this area. I am seeing more and more how He is placing or creating situations where I am in close proxicimity with men of this stature I described above. Trying to reassure me again, like my therapist, that not all men are like those that abused me in the past.
This is not easy to deal with. Very uncomfortable for my little girl.