and has now come when the true worshipers will worship
the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the
kind of worshipers the Father seeks." - John 4:23
My Heavenly Daddy is healing
me from the inside out.
Transparency is Real.
Many times painful.
Daddy let me be secure in You only!
Monday, April 08, 2013
GOD DOESN'T SEE US IN OUR PAINFUL PAST
I have been listening to a audio book a friend gave me, "Waking Up In Heaven" by Crystal McVea. The book is phenomenal. Recommended reading.
Crystal died on the operating table from a simple operation in 2009. And for nine minutes while the hospital doctors tried to revive her, she went to Heaven.
The encounter she had in Heaven with God and the Angels was wonderfully unbelievable. Really, there are no words to describe what she shares. She even herself shares being wordless in describing what she encountered. Who wouldn't? But, the one thing that was ever so present was the love of God!
As much as she DID NOT WANT TO RETURN to earth, God had her go back. Telling her that besides sharing what she remembered in Heaven, she had to share about her troubled childhood. Something she never spoke about before that time.
There were many things I could relate to her. The sexual abuse as a child. The divorce of her parents. Although how we responded to our pain was different, the results brought on the same. Guilt, shame, condemnation and the lack of appreciation of ourselves and appearance.
My initial reason to why I wanted to read this book was because anyone who has tasted Heaven and has come back to talk about it excites me! Because I desire Heaven soooo much! Little did I know that this book also would revealed how God wanted Crystal not only to talk about her time in Heaven, but to share her abused past.
My older brother and I. Me at 6.
Although this book left me awestruck with her meeting "Love" Himself, at the same time my earthly spirit plummeted into sorrow and pain as I related to what she had been sharing.
While her time in Heaven, God showed her a beautiful innocent child. Free, pure and happy! God told her that the child who was so care-free was "her" at three. Quite a different picture she remembered on earth at three when she was being sexually abused. Crystal was amazed. God also told her that is how He sees her. Sees all of us! Pure! WoW! That grabbed my heart. Now, I see why God wanted her to tell her whole story. Her past was important and benefical to the hurting.
Despite our pasts, flaws and hurts, God sees a pure, free-going and innocent child. In each one of us. God does not see us through our painful past.