REACTION-LESS

After literally a year and a half without a job, God provided a job for me yesterday.

How I got this job is "Only a God Thing."

About a year ago when I first became unemployed, I contacted my past job positions. Covering all bases. Leaving no stone unturned.

Some of my past places I really had to humble myself to contact. But, when you are desperate you push past strife memories and swallow whatever pride you had and take whatever rejection may come your way.

Well, two days ago I get a phone message from one of the places that I left for the place that let me go a year and a half ago saying for me to call them. Hmmmmm........

It was one of the CPA firms I enjoyed working for but in my present state of mind at the time, I found it hard for me to stay at a job for more than a year out of boredom and emotional pain that was not dealt with at the time. I was not seeking counseling at this time.

Anyway, the boss remembered I was looking for a job, via my email to one of the other employees there that I stated above, and when the girl who replaced me gave her notice, I was the first person that came to mind to contact to see if I was still available and interested.

Mind you satan tried to abort them contacting me as; (1) they lost my email address from a year ago due to a computer crash; (2) they did not have my file on record as it has been six years that I left and my file was stored somewhere in the warehouse; so they brain stormed and took a chance and Googled me on the internet and wa-la there I was. Phone number and all.

So, to say the least, I will be fully employed the first week of June. Thank You Lord!

Now, for my reaction to what should be good news..... Sure I can say I was releaved. As I was Big Time! But you would never know it.

You know something is wrong when your therapist is more excited than you are for getting the job. My therapist caught on.

What I discovered was while unemployed I went into survival mode of some kind. I am slowly coming out of it now, I believe.

Even though I do not recall how I shut down in the past as a little girl in order to survive the pain, I know somehow God created a safety mechanism of survival in our bodies to obtain when the emotional pain is too much and unbearable. In order to function some how. Even if it is without feeling.

I chose to shut off to protect myself. In the past when I did this I had no counseling and was not able to talk things out. This time, though still traumatic what I went through this year and a half, I was able to talk things out. Still, my body and mind chose to shut down a bit. But, is now on the rebound to recovery! Amen.