Coming off my "To Feel Alive" post where I truly thank you all for your love, prayers and support. I am doing better.
The popular song by the sixties group The American Breed, "Bend Me, Shape Me" has been running through my head since yesterday.
If you look past the secular words to this love song, and replace them with God's love bending and shaping, this is what I am feeling.
Especially the chorus, "bend me shape me anyway you want me." I see that as trust. Trusting God to shape me the way only He can.
Just think of it in natural terms. Bending and shaping in places that have never been bent or shaped before. Or in a very long time. Back and forth. Pushed and pulled. Ouch and double Ouch! You feel the pain right? Right! Same with emotional pain. You feel it!
I am tired. Both emotionally and physically. When your body soul and spirit have been in a constant battle for survial and the proper love and nuture for so many years it catches up to you.
So, as I come face to face with the fears, the memories, the hurt of rejection, neglect, abuse etc., the more intense the bending and shaping become.