"Listen carefully to my words, let this be the consolation you give me."
Job 21:1
Was reading a devotional on listening. Listening has been a weakness of mine in the past. Usually I was soooo pulled inside my own world, I tried to tune out what people were saying. Was so afraid to even respond to questions for fear I would be wrong.
Many of us struggle with fully paying attention to someone speaking to us. Especially when sharing a problem or concern. With me, in the past, I would try and have an answer, because I thought I had to have one and wanted to be right and come over intelligent. So as someone would be speaking to me sharing their heart, I went off in my mind trying to come up with a solution. At the same time not "hearing" important "red flags" that were being mentioned and missing a lot of pertinent information. All because I wanted to protect myself from looking 'stupid.'
I love when people give me their full attention. I do not find many of those now-a-days. But there are some out there that will actually look at me in the eyes and hear what I have to say. Whether they have an answer or not. Shows that I am important enough to be heard.
I have learned to be a good listener now. Only by God's grace can I concentrate on someone else at the time and not worry about me and what will I say. If I can help, I will then contribute. Otherwise, I will just be a good compassionate listener.
That is a God thing. Letting go of the fear of how we will look or seem. Being more concerned with the other than with ourselves. I have worn that mask, it still slips back on every now and then. It sometimes hard to stay out in the open.
ReplyDeleteThanks!!
That is so important.Sometimes all we need is someone to listen.
ReplyDeleteBeing a good listener is so important and not often achieved. Go for it. Paula
ReplyDeleteGood listening is wonderful. I am a good listener, but, like you I often don't know how to respond so I've learned to say nothing. Sometimes, I just smile, or touch a hand, or cry, or say I'm sorry. That seems to be enough for most people.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true...we sometimes worry so much about giving a solution to a problem, that we don't even hear all the person is telling us...it's that "I can fix it" syndrome...praise the Lord when He opens our ears and hearts and closes our mouths....
ReplyDeleteVery important my friend.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that from trauma in her past starts nodding when you talk with her, but never remembers what was said. I have found that when she does that,she is doing just what you described JBR!! So what we have agreed to do if I notice her nodding, is that we just stop talking for a minute and then I let her tell me what she is thinking about rather than trying to skip ahead (being wrong was a punishable offense in her childhood!) and then I ask her if she remembers what we started talking about, and if she wants to revisit it. Very freeing for her to have the ability to do this is a nonthreatening way. Very good of you to recognize this and change it yourself!!!
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